You are NOT your own.

In response to some comments on social media, I would like to clarify on what side of the fence did I land on with regard to the same sex issue? I could have decided to embrace the lifestyle and live openly within that space, alternatively the choice was to adopt a celibate eunuch lifestyle.  There were times that I wondered about that myself,  however I did in fact adopt the second option. That is to abstain and walk in purity with a clear conscious before God and man. The reason is simply that I believe that there is NO biblical evidence to support that choice of lifestyle. In fact as with any sexual intimacy it should be limited to the purity of God's design and intentions between a husband and wife. However I also firmly believe that God does not hate gays, but he is opposed to the practice of homosexuality, just as be is opposed to any sexual sin. "I don’t want people who are experiencing same-sex temptation to feel as though they must be complete monsters compared to peo...

 A critical and vital component of this journey towards healing and wholeness has been trusted friends and brothers in Christ.  I taught on Healthy Same Sex Friendship in Journey, as I have been blessed to have real deep sincere friends supporting me. They have seen and heard my worst parts, as well as my best parts, and I have through them learned what it means to be loved and accepted just as I am.  I have confessed my deepest darkest sins, fears and failures and expressed my highest hopes, dream's and visions with these faithful band of brothers I am privileged to call my friends.  They have been my accountability partners, to whom I have admitted my addictive and compulsive behaviors and thought life, and yet never felt condemned, judged or rejected. Grace and love has been poured out abundantly by the friends God as placed within the sphere of my life.  Not only have we been friends for the sake of friendship, which has been true, happy to enjoy the pleasur...

  Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. Matthew 16:24‭-‬25 NIV This is NOT a casual laying down or giving up something. It's paradoxical, salvation costs you nothing, it's a free gift of Grace and Mercy, Jesus accepts you just as you are, broken, shamed, sinful. However there is a cost within his Kingdom to lay everything down to Jesus as liege Lord, King and Master.  The truth is we all come to him, sinful, broken, confused, even if we are aware of our condition or not, and he redeems us, only if we are humble enough to recognize ourselves as exactly that, in need of salvation. This is literally a call to die, a death on the cross, of yourself on the throne of your heart. To lay down and surrender your identity, hopes, dreams, struggles, and pains, the very essence of yourself in favour o...

Towards the end of last year I went on spiritual retreat and took a long hard look at myself, and asked God to show me something's about me. The thing is, if you ask for something like that, you may not always like what you uncover. I certainly wasn't ready to deal with the emotional depths of my revelation and the journey I would go through in the months that followed.  I for the first time in my life acknowledged the depths of my Same Sex Attraction, and to the degree it had impacted my life, and even my marriage. It wasn't that I had acted out with someone, but I knew that my fantasies had shaped how I viewed myself, this issue ran much deeper than I would admit up until then.  Also I realized that this wasn't simply a choice, I had these feelings and desires from youth. (To act on these feelings or not is a choice)  but I accepted finally that I was same sex attracted, and had been for a long time. At first I accepted that I had two choices, either I lived as an ope...