Where does my help come from?

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

2 Corinthians 4:8‭-‬9 NIV

In keeping with the theme I find myself currently. I seem to find that I am hitting hard walls or barriers on every side. 

The job front seems so frustrating, no offer yet except for scams to try and swindle money out of me. 

Applying for a PDP permit is still proving a challenge to get an appointment online, can't get a slot at the local office. 

Tried to fix the car so that I could use occasionally in need, sent to repair a crank shaft seal, turns out that the rear seal is the major problem and that needs to be replaced more urgently. However the cost is currently prohibitive to me, lol another brick wall. 

It's unsettling not having a job, place to stay (more permanent) and having a place to settle down. 

My view is that where God chooses to give me a job, is where I will put down roots and finalise the place of worship etc, currently in between.

But God....I am confident in His love and His purposes for my life. 

I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalms 121:1‭-‬2 NIV

I chose to go on a prayer walk this afternoon, to clear my head and bring my fears and anxious thoughts to God the Father. 

There is no one else that can make any real difference in the current situation except for Him.

Of course I asked the obvious hard questions, is there something I am doing, or not doing that is hindering breakthrough? What do I need to learn or amend. Trying to understand why or what in the situation.

He is faithful and meets me in that space, nothing like a long walk speaking to ABBA to get perspective, of course a delicious mochachino helped as well, to help comfort the soul. 

Something that daddy brought to me was to be grateful for what I have, not to focus on what I don't have. At least I am not sleeping on the street, and have food and a place to stay.

Finally I just simply acknowledge that my life is in His hands, that my hope, trust and faith is in Him. He God Father, Son, Holy Spirit is Good and trustworthy and I chose to worship and obey Him.

He knows what I need and he is the lifter of my head, this too will pass. There is a season for all things under heaven and earth.

I admit it's easier to say than live it out, but I am assured by Him that he is present to me, and wants me to be present to Him. 

I am His, and He is mine. I remain in Him as He remains in me.




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