Identity determines behavior.

As God's pinnacle of creation, we are image bearers of God, we carry his image within us. This image of God is meant to form our identity, He created you as either male or female, with a purpose to give him Glory and to enjoy Him forever. Sadly the image is distorted and twisted by Sin, love that has failed, and choices we make. 

The good news is that the image of God is never obliterated completely, despite the distortion that occurs. Jesus Christ by His death and resurrection, enables us to be reconciled and redeemed back into the image of God. This is a work of Grace, we can't earn our salvation, it's free. So whilst salvation is indeed free, the cost of living a redeemed life is surrender. 

That means giving up the me; that rules in my own heart, in favour of God's rule and reign as Lord. It calls for the recognition that I deserve what is coming to me (due to my sinfulness) and recieve his Mercy with Faith and gratitude. Acknowledging that I too have failed and fall short of God's perfect requirements, it takes guts to admit your NOT able to measure up within yourself, but in Christ you have the opportunity to walk as a new creation, and live to be transformed into the image of Jesus Christ. 

Most of us fail in the area's of relationships and sexuality in some form or fashion, due to the effects of living in a broken world. Most of us carry scars of love that failed us, and we have turned away from God, and taken on beliefs, and materialism as a coping mechanism. This is often manifested in addictive and compulsive behaviors, trying to put on false identities and masks to cover our pain, or insecurities. It is rare that we willingly expose ourselves, we want everyone to think we got it all under control. Some of us put on false religious masks, to hide our brokenness and the guilt and shame if we were ever to be discovered, this was certainly true of me. 

I had turned to pornography and fantasy, and lived behind a mask of religiosity that I hoped would make me feel loved and accepted.  My dark places, to escape the pain and confusion I experienced,  was a means to be soothed by the false attempt to cope, and bring relief. This was fickle and brief and just drove me deeper still into darkness. This in turn led me to cover up even more with the Good Boy image. I thought I was in control, but it actually controlled me. The result was predictable, because of my fear, inability and disobedience to deal with my issues, I believe God took away the idols that gave me a sence of Identity. This included my marraige, my career etc. I had made these things idols ahead of God.

Jesus neither Identified or expressed himself in a sexual manner. Yet he stands head and shoulders above all people as the most secure person in his gender and identity.  I am.....he knew and knows who he is and what his purposes are, I would love to be as comfortable as he is in my own skin. Society or prevailing culture did not impact on his sence of self, he was fully surrendered in obedience to the Father, and only did what he saw and heard the Father do.

This actually was and is His real appeal and Glory, he is secure in the knowledge that he and the Father are ONE. If you see Him you see the Father and visa versa. I have heard of the description of the Godhead as a divine dance of unity, Father; Spirit and Son, equal in substance and harmonious in giving the Glory and adoration due to each other.

The image and picture we carry often determines our behavior, and this was evident in my past, I too had love that failed, and I allowed the distortion of God image to form and fashion me in ways I did not understand. The impact was real and devastating, even as a Christian, maybe more so. I see now that I was in those times like the older brother in the story of the prodigal son, feeling entitled to a better treatment and bitter when I realised that God was not going to magically remove my sinfulness and shame, but insisted that I step into the light and be known by Him and men, warts and all and seek him in confession and repentance.

This is a process of allowing God to reform and reshape His image, identity and purpose within my life. Jesus is the role model I follow and I know that I have been changed in ways far deeper than I can possibly comprehend. As I yield myself in full surrender, and obedience, getting up when I fall (which I do, more often than I would like). I am building an Image of perseverance, Gods character within. 

As a man thinks so is he. What we believe about ourselves, the world around etc, us determines our actions and ultimately our identity. It is crucial that we realign this with God's view, and thereby learn what it means to be truely free in our own skin. My hope in writing these stories, is that I can attest and give an answer to the Hope I have in Christ.  Therefore encourage others in a similar battle, that if God can do it for me, he can do it for you. If you want to know more just reach out and leave a comment, so that we can walk this journey together. 

I have a a long journey on this road to go still, and I am learning to allow my weakness to be Gods strength in and through me. I can identity a little bit with Paul and the thorn in his flesh, that in my brokenness, God's Grace is sufficient. It certainly is true, and although the process seems slow, I can clearly see the redemptive power of God's Kingdom taking root in my life. I like many, know I am not there yet, but I strive to reach out and take hold of what Christ has taken hold of for me.




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